"I'll have a grande, six pump, iced Chai latte with 2% milk, no ice." That's what I get every time I go to my local Starbucks, but it wasn't always that easy. I had to get my order lingo down to a science.

It happens to us all. We pray to the gods for social graces and hear a tiny voice in our subconscious that says,"Know thy order." We press on, discrediting those voices to some previous meal and google "How to order Starbucks' drinks properly." Then, like a brushfire in a desert somewhere, a thunderous clap occurs as we click through to Quamut.com's Wiki and another, much louder voice says, "Know the lingo. Know thy order." And - skidoosh - here you are...

Yes, it's true that with time you can learn most things, but when it comes to holding up the line at your local Starbucks time is of the essence. You must avoid becoming "that guy" or "that gal" when stumbling over how to order your drink. It needs to effortlessly roll of the tongue. Like so:

"I'll take a venti, iced, passion fruit tea with sugar-free sweetener."

"She'll have a grande, skinny vanilla creme with whip, and I'll take a tall, caramel macchiato with Soy, no whip."

There are several things to take into account when you want to become a drink order aficionado.

You need to discover the intangible issues that need to be predetermined by one's self, such as your likes and dislikes. If you don't like coffee, stay away from the Starbucks line and head to Jamba Juice. As you walk away, ask why you're weird. But for those that are normal, let's walk through the steps together of how to order a drink.

• Start by noticing the special brewed coffees on the board as you approach the counter.
• Know the lingo for the sizes offered: They are "Short" 8oz., "Tall" 12oz., "Grande" 16oz. and "Venti" 20oz.
• Know whether you want a light, medium or dark roast drip coffee, espresso drink, a blended ice drink or tea.

Let's take a break here and discuss the difference in latte and cappuccino. A latte is heavier than a cappuccino because it has less frothed milk, so some would way that a cappuccino is more "airy" than a latte. Making it simpler for the novice would be that less foam is a latte and more foam is a cappuccino, kapish?

Now, we can speed up our decisions by using our diet or eating patterns to navigate the customization of our order.

• If you're walking the run way later that day, dub the drink "Skinny" and everything is non-fat, sugar-free; however, if not, and you're still counting calories, know which flavors are offered and those that are available sugar-free. You gotta be sure to mention your milk preference as well: Soy, non-fat, 2% or whole.

Unfortunately, if you want the "Fatty, McFat-Fat" drink (all the possible fat under heaven and full of sugar in one cup), there is no terminology to use, but that might not be such a bad thing for some of us.

• Hot or cold: if we want it hot, no mention of temperature is needed, but if it's a cold drink say, "Iced." (Don't forget to throw up your peace sign simultaneously.)
• Lastly, know the special toppings or additions that are available such as whip cream, an extra shot of espresso or a squirt of flavor that you may want.

All in all, from brain to tongue, it should take three to four seconds. If it's longer than that, you need to ask yourself if you're too picky and look to other areas of your life for verification like your 2.6 kids.

This may seem a daunting and time consuming task, but if you follow these simple steps you can come off, at least in line, as an expert or a well-oiled drink-ordering machine. Better yet, if you frequent your local Starbucks enough, asking for the usual will go a long way.