1. Take B-12 vitamin supplements. The capsules are better, they release the stuff all day long instead of all at once. B-12 boosts the body's metabolism and aids in the creation of new red blood cells, which, if you are reading this, you definitely need. Take this stuff on a daily basis so you are prepared at all times.
2. Pre-hydrate. If you know you're gonna be out at a bar and feel a bender coming on, drink water constantly in the hours leading up to that first cocktail.
3. Eat. Before you start tossing back multiple drinks, pad your stomach lining a bit with something, preferably a starchy something like pasta, potatoes or bread. (I never said you'd lose weight this way.)
4. Re-hydrate. After an hour or two, if you know what you're doing, you'll realize you're getting drunk. Before you get too cross-eyed, get some more water into you. When you go back to the bar, order an large glass of water for yourself. (Chug this at the bar out of view of your friends, then later you can to brag about what a hearty constitution you have.) Repeat.
5. Don't combine too many liquors. You should know this already. (And if you've taken the time to read this far, perhaps you've already learned this rule the hard way.)
6. Take aspirin at bedtime. When you go to bed, chase a couple of aspirin with a large (pint or so) glass of water. Maybe two large glasses of water. Can't have enough of that. Aspirin helps thin the blood or something. Anyways, it works.
7. Sleep. As much as possible. If you gotta turn it right around and be at work by 8, well, steps 1-6 should at least insure that you'll only be late, not completely incapacitated.
8. Return to step 1.
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